Christmas and New Year celebrations have come and gone. The latest storm (Hercules! Honestly!) came and went, leaving about six inches of fluffy snow and below zero temperatures. I've been at sixes and sevenses for a few days since returning to the cottage. There's always a settling in period - usually just an hour or so, but this time it's taken days and by Sunday I'll be gone again till the middle of the following week. I will dismantle the Christmas tree tomorrow and put away all the holiday decorations. Perhaps that's what's making me feel unsettled.
I am reading two books that at first glance seem to be contradictory - Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything and Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra. One is science based, the other spiritually centered. But as I read, I find correlations in the explanations of energy and awareness. Oddly enough, I've been withdrawing to think rather than reaching out to discuss. Perhaps I've entered winter's hibernation mode more deeply than usual.
I had a disturbing phone call from a long-gone ex-partner who sounded as though he was practicing step 8, only he also sounded intoxicated. Our conversation resurrected all sorts of memories I struggled with for years. Maybe that's why I find myself wandering aimlessly from room to room.
Whatever the reason, all this waffling makes being creative difficult. I'm not gone, I'm just stuck for the moment.
16 comments:
its funn....deepak jumped in my head today when i was out running errands...perhaps i was just waiting to hear which to read....smiles...i love bryson as well...no snow here...but wind strong enough to tear 3 shutters off the house last night....sorry on the phone call...that will def throw you for a loop....
reading contemplative stuff might bring you back to some semblance of your usual poetic self, on the other hand,it might confuse you even more.
Thinking is good, you don’t books for that; just let the thoughts come and if you can, give them a direction.
Something is bound to come up once you’e settled.
I am looking forward to reading the result..
Brian - both books are fascinating. Let me know if you read either and what you thought of them?
Friko - I've resorted to reading because writing seems out of reach at the moment. I appreciate your faith in me :)
I'm also very stuck in a kind of holding pattern Pauline so can relate. I open up my arms to the universe and sing let it be....
XO
WWW
The word is 'unsettled'.
WWW - It's an odd place to be. Holding pattern is a good definition.
JCN - it is indeed. And it's unsettling.
you mentioned energies...and I think we sometimes need a pause to restore energy and to think about something that has depleted our energy. I do admit that I probably bring down my decorations as close to New Year's as possible so that I don't have to dread it for so long.
Fun to explore good reading when it is so cold. We have major artic weather so my being grounded is tough. Bryson grew up not far from me so I like his analytical ideas.
Pauline: this too, this too, shall pass,
And life's joys will refill your glass.
I've been in your place before (I might be there now!) but I think it's just a recharging phase. Happy New Year!
Tabor - that aborted relationship surely depleted my energy. The phone call, after years of welcome silence, did the same. I'm dropping it all into the silence. We'll see what emerges.
OOTP - Bill Bryson is a favorite. I am thoroughly enjoying that book!
Marc - my mantra! Thanks :)
Barbara - There is an element of that, yes. Winter is a good time for it. But some disturbances have thrown a monkey wrench into my peace. It will be interesting to see how I deal with it.
I'm sorry you're feeling so unsettled. Voices from the past can certainly do that to us by taking us right back to those less than happy times.
I suspect it won't be too long before your creativity will flow again. You're generally very centered and highly creative. And in touch. Look after yourself. The rest will come. Hugs to you, Pauline.
Hilary - yes, that's exactly what happened. The bad feelings cannot last, though. I lived through them; they cannot really be repeated. And thank you for your kind and comforting words.
You cannot beat Mr. Chopra for insight and surprise. I once went on a trip to the Arkansas hot springs only to hear , upon leaving, a talk by him about coincidence and happenstance. When I arrived at the springs, I was informed over wireless that the friend of mine, just 100 miles away whom I had planned to visit, had died the previous day. I only go to the springs every birthday so it was quite the upsetting circumstance.
As life goes . . . or doesn't!
Goatman - life is like that - you can either believe in happenstance or not. I do, to a degree. It helps to explain some of the unexplainable things.
Such heart in this post. "... I find correlations in the explanations of energy and awareness..." I love it when this happens--connections of material world to the spiritual. It's all one.
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