My youngest daughter, who is already fighting an autoimmune disease, has just been bitten by a tick. I go to sleep thinking about her and wake with worry. She is a busy young wife and mother, is preparing her dissertation for a PhD in Higher Education, and is holding down two jobs. My admiration for her knows no bounds.
In any relationship, the one who teaches and the one who learns constantly change places. I am being taught now how to have faith; faith in my daughter's ability to survive and faith in myself as a deep well of strength. Being a mother has allowed me to experience both ends of the emotional spectrum—deep joy and profound fear. There were times when my children were small that I had to deliberately choose joy over fear or I never would have allowed them out of my sight. I am coming to realize that choosing joy is the same as choosing love and if there is a constant in my life with my children it is love, love without condition, without limit, and without end.
8 comments:
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this, Pauline. I wish for all the best for your daughter and hope the tick was benign.
I know about that choosing joy over fear with young children...it was really difficult but I did it in order for them to learn something I was frightened of. Sometimes, though, I could not hide the fear, especially as they grew older.
Take care, dear...xx
thoughts and hugs...having our children hurt or going through things is tough and yes we start to learn the true desperation of faith...and the sweet kiss of provision...prayers for her...
Being a grandmother myself, I realize how vulnerable we all are and how much we seem to recognize that vulnerability when we watch our children and then grandchildren grow. It is so easy to be fearful and it takes a lot of courage to let go. I am trying really hard, as you seem to be also, to learn a different way now that I am older. But sometimes the old patterns come back and it is hard to chase them away.
Does one ever stop parenting?
I would hope so; there comes a time when the parent has to let go but as for giving up on love? Love is permanent.
Sending love to your daughter, and you, to help with all these trials.
I think a mother learns more, somehow, and feels so deeply.
Thank you Marion - she is on a massive dose of antibiotics as most ticks here carry Lyme disease.
Brian M - one never ceases being a parent. Its okay though. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Teri - letting go IS hard. But, to let go and still be there for them is harder still! Like you, I am learning how.
Friko - yes, the best part of family love is the permanency!
Thank you Meggie - I agree with you!
Your daughter sounds like a chip off the old block Pauline! Courage and strength to both of you.....
The worry never really ceases but it's true that we have to tuck it away somewhere and have faith in their own ability to handle what comes their way.
Best thoughts to your daughter and a big supportive hug to her Mom.
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