Friday, August 10, 2012

Early Morning Thoughts


 There are magic bullets (or magic cures) for everything in storybooks but hardly ever in real life. We just slog along sometimes, wondering how to make things bearable if not better. I find it interesting that I struggle most when I try to live in someone else's version of the world than I do when I insist on staying in mine. One gets labeled as a rule breaker, as a non-joiner, as a rebel (or, at the extreme, a misanthrope) but oh, the rewards are much stronger than the criticism. 

I wonder that it took me until I was well into my sixties to discover what I'd known perfectly well as a child; to function optimally one must stay in one's own world. From there one can reach out, one can teach, one can act as an example, but the essential self doesn't get battered about by those who don't "get it." It's a hard practice when one works "in the world," requiring constant thought, but it is easier than fighting those who believe themselves in charge of you. 

I find my creativity waxes and wanes. I don't worry about it anymore, knowing that flashes will still whack me in the head, sending me rushing for pencil and paper or the computer. It's almost like watching myself live sometimes; I am both immersed in my surroundings and viewing them from a distance. I used to enjoy this dichotomy as a child and though I don't know how to summon it at will, I love being caught up in it now.


Brian Miller said...

smiles....sounds like you are learning some wonderful things...thanks for sharing them so we can grasp them again before we get there...smiles.

Kerry said...

That's right. You need to be exactly who you are. I'm still learning how to accomplish this; it seems to be more difficult when I'm with certain people.

Your self-awareness makes you a better writer.

goatman said...

Indeed. I am finding out more about creativity and inspiration by seeing others' attempts and reasons.

I guess maximizing experience and life is the key.

Gary said...

It sounds like you operate best when being authentic. It's hard not to be swayed by what's happening around us and the tides of popularity but you are right. Stay true.

Barbara said...

It is a lifelong challenge to accept one's individuality and enjoy it, despite the fact that the world may look so different to others. I think it becomes easier with age!

Joared said...

Yes, we do sometimes find ourselves being what we think others want us to be rather than being ourselves. Life becomes more complicated then, I think.

I couldn't find an email address for you, so hope you don't mind that I've written here. Noticed you often commented at Elusive Abstractions to Roberta and wondered if you knew her? I know her only through her blog writings, but she abruptly stopped blogging some months ago and I have hoped all is well with her -- thought you might know:

Pauline said...

Brian - I feel like I'm re-learning some!

Kerry - try being your small self again. Works for me, maybe because I am spending so much time with a 2 year old!

Goatman - I like the idea of maximizing experience. One way to do that is to write about it, yes? Thanks for coming by.

Gary - it IS hard, but so rewarding!

Barbara - for some of us that must hold true. For others I imagine it's difficult to let go of what works... glad to "see" you again!

Joared - thanks for stopping by to read. I wish I knew how to contact Roberta but I don't :(

Friko said...

To thine own self be true.

Nobody said it better than the Bard himself. I try to follow his advice more or less successfully, but I don't often worry about the ideas others want to foist upon me.I'm too old now.