Close Enough

Sunset over the pond.

There's no need for me to wait until I die to be in heaven - I have it all here right in my own backyard. Not that I really believe in heaven (or hell) as actual places, but I do think that we make our own little bit of the idea of heaven with our beliefs about life. I read that somewhere, and it made sense to me, the notion that we create our future heaven by living in a way that makes us most happy right now. When I asked an old friend what he thought happened to us when we died he answered, "I think we stay right here," and that thought made me feel good, too. Heaven to me would be living right here and just as I am.

Today the sun shone down from a bright, cloudless sky that was skim milk blue along the horizon and crayon blue up above. The wind was mild, the air warm. I sat on my outdoor swing with a book (unread) and a mug of tea (unsipped) and watched a bevy of robins mine the just-greening lawn for worms. Overhead a skein of geese unravelled as it neared the pond, bird after bird setting down in a flurry of feathers and a good deal of splashing.

In the garden boxes last year's herbs - oregano, garlic and chives - have poked through the soil and rhubarb shoots are reaching for the light. All along the cottage foundation the daffodils, iris and hyacinth are holding their leaves tall and straight. Snowdrops bloom in profusion and here and there a crocus has opened to show off its Easter colors. The air smells of damp, sweet earth.

From the farm next door the rooster and several hens wander into my yard, stirring the earth in the empty garden boxes and scratching under leaf mold for bugs. Two guinea hens follow them making a racket, stretching their necks as they run back and forth from one side of the lawn to the other. The laundry flaps in the wind, the sheets snapping smartly.

I just sit and watch and listen and sniff, letting thoughts run through my head without snagging any of them for analysis. It's enough to let the world wash over me. Right here, right now, is close enough to heaven for me.