Sunday, November 28, 2010

Keeping In Mind


What are we but our stories? Right now mine is all about family and missing them all over again now that I'm home and too much food and the stomach bug making its rounds and old friends, one coming to visit, the other making his permanent departure on Thanksgiving Day. I didn't get to say goodbye and though I knew his death was imminent, it still took me by surprise.

So, when I say hello from now on, there will be a hug goodbye in it for the people I love. I will try to remember to slip "I love you" into conversations more often, either by word or glance or a light touch on the arm while we talk. I will do my best to keep a smile on the other side of every frown, a keen eye out for fleeting moments, and an ear open for everyone's stories, for once the teller is gone, the story ends and becomes mere memory.

13 comments:

Judith said...

A glorious photo; a wistful post, but also glorious in what it says, what it remembers, what it values.

Roberta S said...

Pauline, sad thoughts but truly expressed in a beautiful way. I, like you, realize how fleeting life can be, and when loving words won't fit the conversation, you have mentioned the alternative, but may I reaffirm that the most excellent conductor of fondness and emotional energy (almost beyond words) is indeed -- "a light touch on the arm".

Tabor said...

Sorry for this sad and breathtaking time in your life. Transitions with both family and friends can leave us short of breath.

Tabor said...

Sorry for this sad and breathtaking time in your life. Transitions with both family and friends can leave us short of breath.

Brian Miller said...

oh so sorry for your loss...but i think you gleaned some good wisdom for us...

deb said...

every day is gift.
sorry for the ache of the loss.

20th Century Woman said...

A sad loss, and you are so right. We all need to remember that love is the glue that holds us together.

herhimnbryn said...

'Word, glance or touch'. Yes, whenever possible.

Sorry you didn't get the chance to say goodbye...

Meggie said...

Lovely photo.
A lost friend is always with me.

Pauline said...

Judith - thanks. The setting sun seemed an appropriate image. His had been setting for some time, but still...

Roberta - sometimes we just need to relay our affection so the person KNOWS they're loved, even if it isn't always stated flat out.

Tabor - I like the word transition for that's how I feel about death - it's our "change form" day

Thanks Deb - the recognition that life is a gift is a gift itself.

Thanks 20th - it is indeed strong glue.

Thanks HHB - I am making more of an effort since not being able to wish this friend farewell.

Yes, meggie, in some ways he will always be with me, in heart and mind but I shall miss his physical presence. He was such a gentle man.

Hilary said...

This is very beautifully expressed. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Reya Mellicker said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Pauline. It is always a shock, even if "expected" - whatever that means. Sending many sincere thoughts of warmth your way.

Thanks for passing on the story of your friend. Memory is powerful and important. What is remembered, lives.

Pauline said...

Thanks, Hilary - loss is an odd thing. In one breath I miss my friend, am happy he no longer suffers, and remember him. It's like being suspended in time...

Reya - thank you. I agree to an extent that what is remembered lives but to live only in my mind is sometimes not enough. I want to be able to see and touch and hear. It makes me ache that I cannot.